What do you get if you add twelve ex-girlfriends, four overly involved friends, glow-in-the-dark body paint, a lesbian nemesis, a stripper pole, a casino surveillance tape, a three legged cat, the restroom at the Astrodome, the restroom at the local lesbian bar, the restroom at the sheriff’s department, Jesus’ gay boyfriend, Bigfoot, and a near-death experience with an appropriately attached life changing lesson? The U-haul Diary –aka the comedic story of my unsuccessful dating life. I hope you learn a little, and laugh A LOT!
Who knew that retrieving sin-infused articles created by the ultimate bad guys would be the easy part of the Guardian and Seeker gig?
Kanyon McKane is a good actress. A skill only made better by practice. Something that she’s been doing a lot of on and off set since getting pink-slipped from the real-life role of Guardian by her Seeker partner, AKA Daylen Elliott, AKA the woman she loves.
As a Seeker, Daylen Elliott sees and feels other peoples’ emotions. A power that got super-juiced eight months ago on a rooftop after thinking she’d lost Kanyon forever. Having pushed Kanyon out of her life after an emotionally short-circuited super fit, Daylen throws herself into her training. On a good day, she can almost not kill someone with her newly found powers, now if she could only figure out how to play that nice in her own emotional sandbox.
Fate, with a little helpful nudge of an overly involved aunt, has forced Kanyon and Daylen back together. An article, which apparently makes everyone’s libidos go ‘Friday night at the Playboy Mansion’ has found it’s way onto Kanyon’s movie set. With two unlikely lovebirds gone M.I.A., new secrets, old flames and impromptu make-out sessions, Kanyon and Daylen are questioning everyone’s true intentions, including their own …
Oh, and there’s a dog.
Seriously, is an employee handbook too much to ask for when you’re responsible for saving people from sin-infused articles created by the supernatural bad? Guardian, Kanyon McKane and Seeker, Daylen Elliott don’t think so. Instead, the former television stars turned real-life heroes are learning on the fly when it comes to figuring out their new powers and the depth of their fated partnership.
Kanyon, a successful and sexy Hollywood action hero, can handle herself on screen and off, whether it’s via fist or delivering the perfect wisecrack at the most inappropriate time. But when it comes to her new role as Guardian and its supernatural perks, she’s more of a fireworks punk than flame-throwing badass.
Like all the Seekers in her bloodline, Daylen can see emotions and sense intentions. That little talent is quite handy when your inherited job requires you to track down artifacts that compel people to think and do evil things. Unfortunately, what her gift doesn’t assist with is the deliciously wicked thoughts that Kanyon stirs up in her head.
Though Kanyon is the one fated to protect, it’s Daylen who appoints herself to the role. In a race to find an inkwell and pen that can make its authors’ desires reality, it’s Daylen’s desire to keep Kanyon safe that just might come true. But, all desires come at a cost and Daylen’s price might be losing Kanyon forever.
Where do the supernatural bad guys go to use their sin-infused articles to make another play for world domination? Hollywood, duh. Lucky for the world, there just so happens to be two out-of-work, ex TV superheroes with a secret destiny to keep the bad guys from succeeding.
Enter stage right: Kanyon McKane has it all or so people think. She’s beautiful, successful; she has the lead role in one of the most popular television series, and a car collection to rival Jay Leno’s. But in a Lindsay Lohan style stunt, she falls off her high horse, figuratively and literally, causing not only herself but her on-screen sidekick to be written off the show.
Enter stage left: Daylen Elliott took off for Hollywood (granted it was only 20 miles down the road) to find her own calling, eventually landing a role as the dutiful sidekick to the most powerful, stunningly gorgeous, yet completely frustrating woman she’s ever met, Kanyon McKane. But now that their characters have been killed off Daylen is ready to leave the Hollywood scene behind and embrace her fated role in the family business.
What should have been a brief appearance at a Comic-Con ends in a drunken encounter with the Ghostbusters gang, the wipe-out of a gaggle of Stormtroopers, Buffy’s skirt over her head, and Kanyon and Daylen discovering that central casting for the ultimate Good Side decided to select them as real-life superheroes. Together in a will they, won’t they, oohhh no they didn’t relationship, the two will discover the true roles they are destined to play and that the bond between them could not only save themselves, but the world.
Addison Jo (AJ) Mattox, ex-cop turned super-spirit-infused demon hunter; Ashlyn Parker, an on-leave park ranger and AJ’s current love nugget; and Danny Whitefang, the rightful heir of AJ’s hunter’s spirit, know one thing for sure: they’d take demons over diapers any day. Unfortunately, they’re battling both at the moment. Because that’s what happens when you’re on the run with a kid fated to be the bringer of the world’s death and destruction and his, we’ll go with dirty mud flap of a mother, the Queen of Hell, who is sending legions of demons to retrieve him.
Exhausted after weeks of running, hiding, and endless fighting, the merry band of demon-hunting misfits hit a wall. Literally. A dark, malevolent, surging wall of insurmountable evil fog that snatches Baby Apocalypse aka Apoc from his protectors and steals him through a nearby hellgate.
AJ always knew there was more than a 50/50 chance that she would end up in hell—60/40, if the ultimate ticket taker was paying attention to the details that one night in Tulsa after a two-for-one tequila special shared with a set of twin trapeze artists. But what she hadn’t considered and had absolutely not added to her bucket list was that she would visit ground evil zero while she was still alive and kicking (ass). But hey, what’s the worst that could happen …
Most people come home with a window sticker, a shot glass, or a bottle opener cleverly disguised as a key chain from their summer vacations, not Addison Jo Mattox (a.k.a. AJ, if you want to keep your front teeth). Nope, instead of hitting a three-for-ten T-shirt shop like a good tourist, AJ drunkenly stumbled into a sacred Native American Indian ritual and accidentally inherited an ancient hunter spirit.
Now AJ, the hunter spirit, whom she lovingly named Norm, and Danny, Norm’s rightful heir, wander the country fighting demons that escape from Hell to enjoy this world’s lavish all-you-can-eat soul buffet.
A national park in Mississippi is the next stop on their traveling shit show because someone or something (spoiler alert: it’s totally a demon) is killing residents of a nearby small town. But demons aren’t the only thing AJ and Danny have to contend with this go around. Throw in a self-righteous, holier-than-thou reverend, his dick-for-brains son, a not-so-sure-what-side-of-the-law-she’s-on sheriff and a super-sexy, do-jiggly-things-to-your-naughty-bits park ranger and well, AJ just might find herself in a battle that she’s not prepared for … love.